In the post “Interpretations, the Root of Projections” I shared there are at least two roots to projections: interpretations and pictures. In that post I shared a bit about what interpretations were and how it results in projecting. In this post I want to share about the concept of a “picture”. This post is broken into two parts. Here, I’ll define what a picture is. In the following blog post I’ll share an example and further explain how it can evolve in a projection.
A picture in a physical sense is something you look at, such as a photograph. In a personal development or healing context it’s the same thing but metaphorically. What does the mind’s eye or heart’s eye see when their physical eye witnesses something in front of them. Interpretations are beliefs and stories one makes up about a situation. Pictures are more like what you are looking at in a given context. Picture and interpretations aren’t completely separate, they can overlap.
What does the mind’s eye or Heart’s eye see?
Pictures are often formed based on a set of expectations.
Pictures are often formed based on a set of expectations. For example, when I asked God for a spiritual guide, I had a picture, a set of expectations that resulted in me seeing in my imagination, that my guide would be an older, wise man. I imagined being able to talk to him and having deep conversations. I expected him to be someone I could call on the phone and ask for perspective, guidance and help. I thought we’d be a special kind of friends. It’s not a bad picture, there’s nothing wrong with it. The problems stem from the fact that the reality was something very different. I met my teacher that connected me to my guide. My guide wasn’t American, he didn’t speak English fluently, and then he died a month after I came to this spiritual path. I never met my guide in the body. My teacher currently lives on the opposite corner of the country from me and I can’t just call him up whenever I want, because he has his own life. My teacher is my teacher, he loves me as his student, and that doesn’t mean, like I thought it would, that he’s available to be my friend.
At the time it was so painful to let each of these expectations break. I thought the only way I could learn from someone was through physical speech. When I let that picture break, I let that expectation go or fall away, I learned that’s not necessarily true. We learn in many ways.
I thought that my teacher’s love for me would translate into friendship. That’s not true. Love is love, friendship is friendship. They can overlap, many of my friends love me, but I learned my teacher can love me without requiring him to be my friend.
I thought my guide would guide me through my life by giving me advice and teaching through his words. When he died a month later I was so angry with him and with God. It’s super funny now, I’m actually laughing as I write this, but at the time, the only way out of my pain was to accept the reality of what God made. I felt my painful disappointment and then forgave. My guide was not alive. It didn’t mean all the interpretations I made up about it were true, such as:
“I was too late”
“I missed my chance”
“God must be angry with me to do this to me”
“I’m not allowed to have a guide” “I’m not allowed to have what I want.”
“God’s answer is ‘no’ to my prayer”
When I released the picture of what a guide is and how a guide works, I learned what a guide really is. My guide left his teachings in the form of books carefully translated into English. When I let go of my expectations, I was free to learn that he continues to guide me in ways I wouldn’t have imagined, or honestly, believed possible. My expectations burdened me with pictures I formed about him and his role in my life, and those pictures would have been stronger and harder to break if I’d met him in person. It was sad and frustrating that he died, and, the reality is it was a real blessing for me.
When we’re invited by our life to release a picture it can feel scary. When life forces us and our pictures are broken suddenly, it is painful. The bigger the picture that’s suddenly broken, the more earth-shattering it is for us.
When we’re invited by our life to release a picture it can feel scary
When life forces us and our pictures are broken suddenly, it is painful.
Here’s another example. I was invited by life to let go of my picture of how art is made. I thought “real art” was what many people call fine art. I thought to make real art one had to train in art school, know and understand the history of art, study various techniques and then apply them into their artwork. I thought real art had many, many hours invested into each piece with years of experience behind it. I thought fine art was the only kind of art people valued and paid for. When I started painting, I didn’t think it was real art. When people started buying my first paintings, it was shocking. It was very vulnerable to take up life’s invitation to let go of my picture of “what real art was” and explore whether I could be a real artist. I could have stopped painting, or I could have continued painting, viewing myself as not a “real artist”, and turned my judgment on my friends concluding something like “they must not know what real art is.” I’m grateful I didn’t do any of that and just said yes to the invitation, even though it was scary, because that was the opening to letting go of the pictures I held about real art.
My guide dying shortly after I took the promise was an example of life breaking my pictures. It was so painful. I could have tried to put the pieces back together but by then, I had faith that God’s timing was perfect even when I couldn’t see or understand how. I resisted and fought the reality of what God made for a long time, but the picture was in pieces. It was done. It was up to me how long it took for me to come to terms with reality. I could keep crying, crouching over and tightly clutching to the shattered pieces of the picture, believing that God was mad at me, or I had done something wrong. Or..I could face reality, feel my feelings and do what was necessary to move forward. The only way out is through. Once I worked through my feelings and process, the pain stopped. Today I even find it funny – which is still pretty weird honestly.
The only Way Out
is through…
We hold on to pictures, even the pieces of them for many reasons. For me, it’s often fear. If I look away from my picture at the unknown, how terrible would the truth really be? How much more will it hurt than the picture? However, so far, the truth has been so much more merciful than the beliefs, expectations and imaginings I clung to. Real Truth is never without Mercy, Compassion and Love. In Divine Reality, Truth and Love are one and never separate. It’s easier said than done, but these moments where we break our pictures and release them, are those moments where rubber meets road. It’s the place where we prove we believe it enough to act on it. Sometimes it’s easy, sometimes it terrible and painful. So far it’s ALWAYS been worth it.
May our faith in the Divine and Divine Love be strong enough for us to take a step into the scary darkness of the unknown, only to be further bolstered and reassured of the presence of greater and greater Divine Love for us and all of creation. Ameen.
Peace and Light,
Mariam-Saba
As this is a two-parter post, comments will be available at the end of the next post.